Lamenting

If I want to be an optimist, I’ll call this season of life confident. 

If I want to be a pessimist, I’ll call this season bitter. 

I’ve added some new favorite words to my vocabulary because, I appear to have lost my silver lining finder. The first one is “dumb.” Anything that is beyond my immediate comprehension is just plain “dumb.” When I can’t open the door with gloves on? Well, that’s dumb. Left my phone at home? That’s dumb. 

The second word is “shit” or its more colorful adjective form, “shitty.” I’ve never been one to use a lot of profanity because a flippin’ freakin’ potty mouth is…well, just dumb. And it hurts people’s feelings. But “shit” seems pretty accurate to describe the bitterness of this season. It’s the filth that your body can’t use. And no one really wants to deal with it after it’s been released. I don’t want to deal with this; it’s shitty.   

Maybe I should just call this season of life dumb and shitty instead – I don’t get it and I don’t want to deal with it. This is probably one of the hardest seasons. Can I quit yet, God? Can you rename me and this season…like soon? 

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